“One coffee, please.” I said to the McDonald’s server.
“Want creamer in that?”
“No thanks, could I have some milk please?”
“That’s the same thing.” said she, accompanied by a disdainful raised eyebrow. I shook my head and said “Just black is fine, thanks”, wistfully thinking of Costa back at home, where they would never dream of equating creamy sugar paste with actual milk.

Coffee snobbery aside: it’s a surprisingly lengthy journey down the Floridian peninsula. The whole point was to visit the Everglades, which covers most of the southern end of it. When you approach the national park from the north west (as we did) you first hit Big Cypress National Preserve, a similarly swampy area, though not technically part of Everglades. The predictably unpredictable subtropical weather gave us torrential rain as we entered the visitor centre and glowing sunshine when we exited.

Big Cypress

First stop: Wooten’s airboat tours. For me, airboats are the epitome of the Everglades, though for some reason I thought they were hovercraft rather than just a boat with a giant fan on the back!

Before hopping on our boat tour, we were given a bit of a presentation of the alligators in the accompanying animal sanctuary (including getting to hold a cute baby gator named Charlie!).

Our boat driver then deftly glided us through endless mangrove forests and swamps. Unbelievably, we were floating on just a few inches of water, which explains the need for a propellor out of the water (I’d previously thought it would be to protect the underwater creatures).

We saw one alligator while were out there; Aleks and I both thought this was unexpectedly few, but to be fair, the airboat ride itself was quite an experience – they definitely zipped us around rather than gently floating us through the water!

A storm on the horizon, we went to check out a nearby campground for the night. We were met by a campground host with somewhat unorthodox sales techniques (alternating between aggressive upselling and deprecating jokes about the state of the campground); this was off-putting to the point that we decided to drive off to Miami…

Before leaving Big Cypress, though, we visited Turner River Road which was teeming with gators, turtles and cormorants, which helped redeem the area for its earlier lack of wildlife!

Miami

Miami is precisely the opposite of a national park. Metropolitan and loud in every sense, we arrived at SoBe hostel late in the evening, greeted by a complimentary drink. Even more so than the hostel in New Orleans, we had major flashbacks to student life; drinks deals and organised club nights out were plastered around the hostel, with that distinct enforced partying vibe that is just so Freshers Week.

We won’t pretend that we did any highbrow cultural exploration of the city of Miami the next day. Our hostel was next to the beach, so to the beach we went. South Beach is my personal favourite beach of the trip so far. The enormous sands stretch for miles; paired with glorious sunshine and the waves of the Atlantic, it was relaxation at its best. Recharging our batteries was exactly what we needed, as the next day, we were heading into true Everglades.

A couple of places needed to be visited on our way out of the city, though.

First off, we hit Miami’s hipster district in search of edgy street art; we succeeded by finding Wynwood Walls, a sectioned-off area of astonishing murals, some with a political undercurrent, but all united by their skilful beauty.

Of course, where there are hipsters, there are creative snacks, so we picked up a maple bacon doughnut at the super-popular Salty Donut, a ludricrously tasty Kouign Amann at the imaginatively named Bakery and we marvelled at the ice lollies at Cielito (because we had no more room in our bellies or cash in our pockets).

Between Miami and the Everglades, there sits a mysterious garden filled with stony sculptures, called Coral Castle. It is something of an enigma, as designed by Latvian creator Edward Leedskalnin back in the early 20th century. Was he simply a skilled mechanic? An engineering genius? An alien collaborator?

All we know is, he single-handedly carved and erected hundreds of tonnes of coral rock (the bedrock in this part of Florida) to form this “castle” complete with a small house, rocking chairs, a sundial, an 9-tonne door you can open with the push of a finger and more, as an ode to a long-lost love. Even today, professional engineers (with much more than his 4th-grade education) are baffled by this place, and so were we. I was little dubious about visiting this before we went, but I would certainly recommend dropping in if you’re in the area!

That evening, we finally reached Everglades National Park, the pinnacle of our Florida trip. But we’ll leave that for next time!